__________`` sometimes i wonder about you; * and wonder if you ever think about me. `` ____

`` its my lifee. [#] `-

Friday, April 29, 2005

my therapist said that my knee joint is loose... and that when i walk, my knees will bend inwards... it is almost impossible to walk naturally with my knees straight... she used sports tape to tape my knee to see how she can adjust the knee.. then she pulled the tape off, wah so pain lor.. i lost some leg hair liao!.. anyway, she said that when i bend my knee, one of my bone is protruded in out....... she also dunno wat to do sia... now i'm working on the rotary muscles of the knee, so tat my knee can be straight. ask me to wear knee guard, those with hole de.. but.. i c how la.. hmm...

...........

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
5:24 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

today did k2 with esther cos boon went to hong kong!!! such an odd time to go for hols.. haha..
think everyone miss her.. though she v noisy .. but w/o her.. suddenly v quiet leh

trning was 12km!!! yeah! been a long time since we had serious trning since tms days.. spent most of the time practising my strokes.. and learning to use strength with it... tired! haha.. but during the last 2km, i did it ! yeah so happy.. haha. but super tiring leh.. then at the end did it again for coach to see but he didn't sia.. disappointed.. i told him, then he say go paddle let him see.. haha yeah, esther and i went and showed him... i was scared i screw up lor.. haha.. when we were near him, he gave a thumbs up to us!!! i'm so happy.. hope i can maintain with the technique all the way...

esther is a gd coach sia.. haha :P .. i paddle wrong she'll correct me de.. haha pro la.. haha! trning with her fun sia..

tricia, hiang en!!! u two pro liao le!!! made such great improvements!! keep chasing so near behind me, make esther and i so tired sia.. i'm so proud of u two!!! must continue to jia you k k ?? correct what we told u today.. aim to beat us nxt time!!! jia you!

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
10:06 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Saturday, April 23, 2005

six years of being looked down upon, what will you do now?

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:22 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Friday, April 22, 2005

tml got k4 race !!! it's tml!!! haha race is at 11am... the semis at 3.10pm.... excited i think .. haha.. fun sia!! haha ... i m not really worried abt capsizing.. hee...

went to town with michelle today to find my shoe... went novena first cos i saw one v nice de.. okapi.. really v nice.. haha.. then went to suntec, can't find any... so i'm gonna buy that! ran into mr joseph wong! haha. he's still balding! haha.. got gf/wife liao .. haha.. saw him twice.. he tot i'm from tpjc! wah.. my uniform is blue not green!! haha.. he's in acs now.. haha.. can havoc with the guys liao. haha

oh well, gotta go slp now..

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
11:28 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Thursday, April 21, 2005

oh.. forgot.. took k4 on wed!! got this national junior college championships on sat.. haha.. so we rented a k4 to practise.. wow.. $8000 over for a k4! pro la.. rudder $200+, a seat $150+... dotx.. this is my second time on the k4, the 1st was at shanghai when tms canoeing team went there.. (i miss shanghai) was so fun!! i sat in the front, with jac then esther and boon at the back... u can't make abrupt turns or it'll break and gotta tie the seat to the boat or else when u cap, that's it.. it was quite alright.. did like 4 k on it.. unbalance sometimes... while waiting for rj to use the boat, we did a sprint. and opps! we capsized!!! wow! haha.. swam back with the boat.. so heavy! when we reached, coach ask us to swop places.. now jac is in front, me, boon then esther.. it was perfect! none of us felt unstable! haha.. but we cap suddenly cos jac couldn't reach the rudder.. haha. fun fun!!! our race got njc and gess... got some thailand canoeing pple taking part too! can't wait.. haha.

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
10:13 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

yest sat beside adam in chem lect... haha.. we were joking around, chit chatting.. haha.. opps got caught by ms choo few times... she called us to see her after the lect.. got scolded, she say we gotta sit in the front the nxt lect, and gotta write a letter of apology to mrs lim. oh well... me and adam crapped alot in the letter.. haha.. ms choo laughed at our letters.. tot we dun hv to sit in front of the lect.. but no!! today she still asked us go in front.. shit.! haha.. then mrs lim hv to tell the whole lt sia.. haha.. dotx... happy tree frens! haha.. got called by mrs lim to ans qn. sitting in front is not so bad la... but neck will ache leh! haha.. but can reach canteen faster. hee

today took 81 from sch with esther! wanted to try the new route home.. take 81 then change to 72.... we alighted in a middle of the expressway!!! it's so dark! all trees.. haha.. i supposed everyone's wondering what r two sch girls doing in the middle of no where.. haha.. but it's really fast! half an hour to reach home including time waiting for bus..

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:50 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

swam 20 laps at eve's condo... haha.. thx to her or else i prob give some excuse not to go swimming.. i'm happy! haha.. doing smth to help myself.. :P but i did breast stroke.. which is not as ideal as free style.. i tried free style first but i scared i'll bang pple.. so forget it.. haha.. super shack! haha .. hope it'll help

tat kevin.. haha already so slack liao, in ns still equally slack.. he's in the water polo team in army.. haha crazy over water sports sia.. haha.. and he's excused from normal trning just because he's playing water polo!! haha dotx sia.. like tat also can. haha.. ns is getting easier le.. haha.. he can tell me he's lyin on the bed slacking while i'm in sch! wah .. envy sia..

did pe!!!! yeah! nv do for 2 wks.. today's conditioning that's y i can do.. haha so fun!! but weather a bit too hot.. then i jogged for two rounds!! though my knee feels uncomfortable sometimes, but yeah! i finished the 2 rounds.. and today our class is super hyper! we used to be like this! glad today we found ourselves back again..

hee.. mdm heng (gp hod) came to sit in again.. she sat in 2 wks ago with esther lai and once last yr.. haha she pro la.. slping behind while john's group was presenting.. haha.. make us think she is reading the notes lor.. haha.. then got one pt of time our class started to giggle and rehana wanted to know what's the joke.. heehee.. haha guess i can't be a teacher (except pe teacher) or i'll end up like her.. opps!

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:36 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Monday, April 18, 2005

'Nobody likes you...
Everyone left you...
They're all out without you...
Having fun...'

(Letterbomb by Green Day from American Idiot)

'I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said'

(Pieces by Sum 41 from Chuck)

'Think before you make up your mind
You don't seem to realize
I can do this on my own
And if I fall I'll take it all
It's so easy after all

Believe me 'cause now's the time to try
Don't wait, the chance will pass you by
Time's up to figure it out
You can't say it's too late'

(Some Say by Sum 41 from Chuck)

'One day
I won't take this anymore
One day
I'll be old enough
To do what I want to
And I won't have to run away
And you won't be there to say
I'm not allowed to
One day'

(One Day by Simple Plan from No Pads, No Helmets.... Just Balls)

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:03 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Friday, April 15, 2005

I've inadvertently did smth i may regret one day...
Dunno if i can bare this consequence
All I can do now is to wait...

*ignorance is bliss*

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:00 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I used to tell myself,
'As long as you believe in yourself, nothing is impossible'
I've believed, and i've succeeded.

Time pass, conviction shaken.
In doubt.
Broken dreams and shattered hopes,
and I no longer believe.

Yet, I must not falter.
And I will not stumble.
This winding road may be lonely
But nothing can stop me now, 'cos I BELIVE

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
5:57 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Let Me Cry
Under this sheets my true self reveal
The weak me, the scared me
I fear you entering my comfort zone
I detest you thinking I am strong
Let me weep now,
Allow this frozen heart once feel again
And be strong for me

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:52 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

wanted to do pe.. but mr chua made me do some errand, in the end the class when for conditioning without me.. adam didn't do pe too, but he wanted to run 2 rounds.. he injured his hamstring and yet he wanted to run, cos of his soccer match this sat.. passion sure makes pple stronger. i ran with him, cos he asked me to.. the 1st round, quite alright... but tire easily.. 2nd round, my foot start to hurt a bit.. stamina v lousy!!! but i'm glad i ran 2 rounds! yest only ran 1 round.. hmm, but after resting.... my knee starts to feel more uncomfortable.. and.. stiff.. on one hand, i want to maintain my stamina for canoeing, on the other hand, i dun wan my knees to grow weaker and cause me pain.. thinking of the consequences.... how?? what shld i do??

anyway, thx adam, for making me run .

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:35 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Sunday, April 10, 2005

hmm, to those who read the previous entry, dun hv to care abt wat's on it... it's just me being pessimistic.. ya..

anyway, i'm grateful to my frens.. i'll always be here for u!

to tricia:
6 yrs of tolerating those nonsense from u.. poor en and me.. haha.. glad our friendship still stayed strong.. and grew.. haha. u were there when i need someone to talk to, when i just want to sit with someone and not talk.. thx girl.. haha.. i'll just be nice and tolerate u.. :P

to en:
san ba... haha.. thx for being there for me too... thx for crappy and laming ard with me.. i can't imagine wat will happen if u nv join canoeing.. had alot of fun with u.. haha.. u've been stuck with me for 6 yrs! haha, so lucky right? :P (i used for fav colour!)

to boon:
my partner in canoeing for 4 yrs.. didn't know u well in sec sch.. but glad we became more closer in jc, helped our mo qi.. thx for helping me make speeches cos i'm not gd with words.. thx for being understanding. let's work hard for our nationals together!

to esther:
i hardly knew u in sec sch even when we were in the same class! u r easily amused and can make everyone happy.. haha.. glad i can be able to talk abt things with u.. and i'm happy tat u r willing to share ur problems with me... haha..

to john john:
hello! knew u only last yr.. haha.. u so lame lor.. haha.. cannot stand it sia.. haha and ur attitude.. tsk tsk.. u r great fren, someone who i can talk to too.. thx thx! jia you k? i'm here to share ur problems!

to wei qiang:
thx what u've done to the team.. and giving me advice..

to nicholas:
glad to hv a fren like u... u r always there for me.. and it's great talking to u.. u r a nice, sensitive guy.. thx for all the little msgs now and then..

to adam:
had fun discussing abt various topics and crapping with u.. haha.. always trying hard to cheer me up .. haha. thx for teaching me the pattern .. hee

to angie:
love hangin out with u.. u can be quite bimbotic sometimes but i dun mind! haha.. u r willing to listen to me when i start to whine.. thx so much.. i want to meet up with u more! haha

to aud:
kiddo! haha just like the way u r... and the way u respond to things. haha. quite bimbotic la.. lol.. and lame.. thx for listening to me too! haha.. enjoy conversing with u alot.. oh.. pls do grow up ya?

to everyone else not mentioned:
thx for what u've done to make my day

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:06 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Saturday, April 09, 2005

i'm BOW LEGGED!!! wtf.. i'm bow legged!!! my knees are out of shape.. to those who dunno what it means, take a gd look at my legs....... i suspected it since sec3 after studying abt.. went for phsyio therapy and found out tat it's true... wat am i going to do!!!?? i can't run.. running will only accumulate the pain i feel.... my joints are joined unportionally.. tat's y i feel pain.. i can't run!!! it's a frightening thought to know i'm only meant to walk.. how?? my canoeing how??? how can i, with a lousy stamina, race in such a highly competite sport? already i'm so lousy.. wat with my legs?? i dunno wat to do.... my therapist say i shld nv run... again... i'm not suitable for such high intensity sport.. i'm not.. i'm not!!! how how?? go singles??? not join the compeition??... therapy can only help to a certain degree... the only way is surgery.. to straighten my legs.. tat's a horrible thought!!

i really hope things will go all fine... i really hope i'll be fine... i'm sorry!!!

*crying*

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:54 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Friday, April 08, 2005

i believe that everyone will feel extreme sadness at one point of time, the difference is how fast u can get out of it.. to john john: things aren't so bad.. just let the other party settle down with whatever trouble she has.. yeah it needs time, but it's better then nothing.. cheer up k?? u hv many great frens walking through this period with u.. jia you with ur 4 sub..

my ipod has died.. officially i think.. sian.. gotta look for new mp3 players

this week.. was exhausting.. physically and emotionally.. trning was finally on the right track... many many issues came out.. wah!!!! can die... there's only one me!

i know u r v hardworking..and tired too.. but these days rarely get to talk to u .. and i dunno how to start talking to u now.. (sounds like john?)

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
8:23 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Monday, April 04, 2005

we used to be so ignorant, listening to what pple of higher authority tell us.. we follow.. cos we do not know anything.. and the results: positive.

and now, we hv grown and seen and experienced more.. no longer will be follow blindly to wat we are being told.. result? not gd... y can't we be modest? why do we think that we are always right, when others know more and better then us..? i don't want to be victim of conformity, but this time, u are so wrong..

gonna make it this time round.. with or without u

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:09 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Saturday, April 02, 2005

did cip at changi beach today with the canoeing team... was late.. made esther late too.. doing gp presentation ma.. haha.. anyway, it was raining in the morning.. so troublesome to bring umbrella around.. took bus there, rain stopped.. me esther and tricia formed a grp and we started our work! we discovered the beauty of the ecology system of the beach... we spotted birds that roam the beaches.. spotted sand crabs.. they dig holes that are perfect circles and stay in there! and they are so small, and since their colours are similar to the sand, they blend pretty well.. oh, we saw bigger holes, but no creature came out... saw a big dead fish and that tricia actually threw it into our bag!!! stink up the whole bag.. in the end, we threw it back into the sea.. it was a nice day, nice cooling weather.. so fun!!

haha.. spotted this thick long rope.. and dragged it into our bag.. so damn heavy! lol.. we were trying hard to drag the bag along.. lol so funny!!! haha.. then the bag tore! haha.. luckily we picked up some plastic bags, so we packed the rubbish into these bags.. haha reuse them.. lol.. anyway i think esther tricia and i make a gd team .. hee.. we only get 4 hrs of cip.. stupid rain.. haha

we were talking after tuition, our guy classmates are going ns soon!!! can't imagine them bald! haha.. john john will look like monk lor! haha .. so fun!! will miss them..

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
11:21 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*

Friday, April 01, 2005

one week has gone pass! what a busy week.. mon to wed spent everyday after sch at tampines mall just to such for presents. thurs we celebrated esther's bdae! haha she 18 liao.. today, the j1s had their trial... mr tang was talking abt bryan, who had leg injury and couldn't run at all.. he was thinking of not lettin him in.. then i thought abt myself, and my knee... does that mean i'm not suitable to be in the team? since my stamina is sure to plunge... sigh...

got back block tests... hmm.. pretty alright with the results. managed to just hit B for maths.. hmm, am so glad! O for chem and bio.. chem, screwed the mcq.. but generally i'm fine.. bio, didn't study, am already glad i didn't get F... but gonna hv to work real hard!! yup...

5 days of trning per week... this week, had gym on mon, wed and thurs... could only do hw for a few hours from mon to wed.. by thurs, started to slp in class again.. dunno wat will happen nxt week when the 5 days trnings and the trnings at macritchie kick off..

just hope my knee will be ok soon...

[x] togetherr foreverr `-//*
9:55 PM

alwayysbyyourrsiide`-//*